No Chewing the Fat with Lawyer Michael ‘the Superficial’ Spratt

Hello every One and welcome to the Fabulous Free Lance Friday Edition, thank King or Queen Your moral Highness for being here, it is always a Pleasure to be Gifted with Your Presence. Although I do have some absolutely Fabulous Good News to share with You this Friday, I’m probably going to be Keeping this Post short just because I’m exhausted but Wished to at the very least let You know how My phone call with Mr. Michael the Superficial Spratt went.

It’s important for You to know that although I genuinely did not believe they would be corrupt enough to unlawfully detain Me overnight for anything, I had scouted around a little for criminal law firms in the event I was wrong. If they are not processing their documents onto the Registry and they are bold enough to arrest Me overnight anyway, what won’t they do? If nothing is on the Registry, then no One outside of the People with a copy of the information have any idea there is anything going on at all. No One would know I was gone or where to find Me because there would be no official paper trail with the Courts. Yes, that’s how serious this is!

This morning, I followed up one more time with Virtual Crown and I probably Will every day just to see if they ever have the decency, professionalism, or kahunas to respond.

And sometime shortly after that I placed a call to Michael the Superficial Spratt. I decided Superficial is an appropriate description of his Spiritual Character, though Scared Spratt was a consider a Sean as well because that’s the real reason he doesn’t Wish to take the case. He talks a big game but he’s the proverbial ‘ass kisser’, not the raging against the machine lawyer he Wishes for You to believe he is on his Podcast ‘the Docket’. He should be thankful he’s getting any publicity at all because You know what they say – no such thing as bad publicity, right? I’m sure at least a couple of People Will check it out even if only to find out how bad it is – okay, in reality, it isn’t that bad, it’s actually pretty Good, especially if One is interested in Law. But what I can’t fucking stand, it social posturing pussies – and make no mistake about it, that’s what Michael is.

Initially, he sounds happy to hear from Me, especially when I tell him I’m thankful for ‘whatever he did to get Me out of jail last Wednesday.’ Then he asks Me what the plan is now, when should We meet to discuss strategy and I say something like,

“I don’t know, do You think virtual Crown is ever going to respond to My Form 1 Application?”

His entire Act falls apart in a heartbeat! It’s so obvious that he cares so little for People unless they have huge sums of money to spend, he had no Idea who I was or who he was talking to before I mentioned the Form 1 Application. Suddenly, he’s terrified and cannot wait to get off the phone with Me, looking for any Way out. Even his voice is shaky. He’s telling Me that he doesn’t have the Man power or resources to provide Me with the defense I require, My case is ‘too public’ and ‘high profile’, he just doesn’t have the time for that, he is fully booked up. What he’s really saying is that it’s too ‘high profile’ for a legal aid Certificate, and he already knows I’m going to chastise him if he tells Me the Truth, so he makes up an excuse to save face.

The Truth is, the second I heard him squirming, I new he was a flake and a fraud. I also didn’t Wish to tell You until after I had spoken with Mr. Michael the Superficial Spratt, but I was as King of the second Duty Counsel (whose name was Karen) if the deal she worked out with the Justice was Michael Spratt’s doing.

“No, is he Your lawyer?”

“No, but I was thing King of hiring him.”

But not anymore. I knew when he didn’t Show up or ‘provide direction’ to Duty Counsel that he’d never intended to. He left Me at the mercy of Duty Counsel and I was Lucky enough to get a Duty Counsel lawyer who pulled through for Me. Michael Spratt did not do a God damn thing to get Me out and if You are relying on a Good lawyer for the first time, unless You have boatloads of money, don’t bother calling Michael the Superficial Spratt. He does have a very comforting tone and demeanor, but he’s after big clients with even bigger bank accounts. I think he just says he takes legal Aid Certificates to Give the impression that he’s a caring and compassionate individual who cares about justice and not the cash lining his pockets. Maybe I’m entirely wrong, but You listen to the call Your Self and tell Me what You think.

After the call, I swipe to close the phone window figuring it’s time to start looking for another Good criminal law firm, and the window behind is for Engel and Associates and it’s not resized properly to fit my phone, so the phone number is taking up the entire half of My screen. I have no Idea how their website came up in the first place because I hadn’t done a new Google search yet, but I don’t believe in coincidences so I clicked the link.

Soon I was dialing and speaking to a receptionist for Elgen and Associates and the lady was very accommodating. She passed Me through to another Man who introduced him Self as Bruce Elgen who told Me he was just about to enter a meeting and would call Me back in half an hour.

Sometimes We are not sure if that is a half hour stall to check the case details and decide if they Wish to accept the file, but if it was Bruce called Me back with Good News.

“Yes, I just got out of the meeting and wanted to let You know that We are happy to represent You. Just get the legal Aid Certificate You say You qualify for and We’re Good to go.”

I made a call to the Legal Aid Society of Canada and received confirmation that the Certificate was approved and I now have a Elgen and Associates on Record as counsel. They are war King on obtaining My disclosure – I’m sure that Will be interesting for them!

Love and Blessings,